Alastair Cook

(the the tune of YMCA)

Young man, when you come to the crease
I said young man, let your runs never cease
I said stay there and you'll score lots of runs,
and you'll make many more tons

runs runs runs runs runs

It's England's number 1

Alastair Cook
It's England's Number 1
Alastair Cook

Put your bat in the air, play the hook when you dare
and we'll come and cheer you on....

Runs runs runs runs runs

It's England's number one
Alastair Cook
It's England's number one
Alistair Cook
Put your bat in the air, play the hook when you dare
and we'll come and cheer you on....

 

Andrew Strauss

(To the tune of Shout)

Strauss, Strauss
Never gets out,
He plays the shots that we dream about
Come on, we're talking 'bout you
Come on

 

Graeme Swann

(to the tune of Champagne Supernova)

How many special people came
So many flights we had to change
Where were you when we were in Chennai?

Got hit for four with his first ball
Then took Gambhir and the Wall
Where were you when we were in Chennai?

Some day you will find him
Taking loads of wickets
In a Swanny super over in Chennai

Some day you will find him
Taking loads of wickets
In a Swanny super over, a Swanny super over

Because people believe
That we should never have come here at all
But you and I, will never die
And Graeme Swann is just one reason why, why, why, why...

 

Graham Onions

(to the tune of Hey Jude)

Onions
You bowl it well
They've got Johnson
But you're much better

Onions, when you peel the batsmen will cry
They'll wonder why
You're Graham Onions, Onions, Onions, Onions...

Nah nah.... Onions

 

Jonny Trott

(to the tune of Only Fools and Horses)

Stick your passport in your pocket
And your kitbag in the van
Cos if you want the Ashes
And you don't mind Saffers
Then brother, he's your man

Cos where he comes from is no mystery
But he's gonna lead us home to an Ashes victory
A song for him was driving us beserk
But then we thought that Jonny Trotter works

La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la

 

Kevin Pietersen

(To the tune of Hi Ho Silver Lining)

You're our spinner and fourth in KP
Thats where you bat
Showing your bling at fourth slip
With your big bold tatts

Blinding us with your earrings,
From where we're sat,
You cut and drive the new ball
With your Woodworm bat,

And its Hi Ho Super KP
Everywhere we go now Peter
You'll score a double century
Or maybe just a ton
You're Kevin Pietersen

 

Kevin Pietersen

(To the tune of Just A Little)

KP
When you walk out to the crease,
You're sexy
You are England's number four
You've got a ton to score

(chorus)

Hook! Just a little bit,
Pull! Just a little bit,
Drive! Just a little bit,
Score just a little bit more
KP score a little bit more,

Just a little bit more, just a little bit!

 

Matt Prior

(to the tune of Ring of Fire)

He always takes the top edge skier
He bats at Hove where his average gets higher
Four six four
He's Matty Prior, he's Matty Prior

He got caught in the jellybean mire
He has no need for a Brylcream supplier
Four, six, four
He's Matty Prior, he's Matty Prior

 

Matthew Hoggard

(To the tune of The Jungle Book Song)

Now Hoggy's the King of the swingers, An England VIP
He has a bowl, we have a song, The Aussies out by tea
Oohh Oohh Oohh, I wanna bowl like you-ou-ou
Don't wanna bat like you, just bowl like you do-o-o
Oh yeah it's true-ue-ue
I wanna bowl like you-ou-ou
Don't wanna bat like you, just bowl like you-ou-ou.

 

Matthew Hoggard

Oh how we love!
Our Yorkshire boy
Your Floppy hat
Your Straggly hair
Your Two-cross eyes
Your Loping gait
Your Smelly farts
Your Knobbly knees
Your Pigeon-toes
Your Swing bowling
Your Straight batting
Our Hat-trick boy (Sarwan, Hines and Chanderpaul!)
Our Nightwatchman
Your Twelve wickets

Ohhhhhh, Matty Hoggard, Matty, Matty Hoggard!
Matty Hoggard, Matty, Matty Hoggard!

 

Michael Vaughan

(To the tune of Kum By Yah)

Michael Vaughan my Lord, Michael Vaughan
Michael Vaughan my Lord, Michael Vaughan
Michael Vaughan my Lord, Michael Vaughan
Ohh Lord Michael Vaughan

 

Monty Panesar

(To the tune of Pig Bag)

De de de de
Monty Panesar
De de de de
Monty Panesar
Repeat ad infinitum

 

Owais Shah

(to the tune of The Animals Went in Two by Two)

When Owais Shah comes marching in (Owais Owais)
When Owais Shah comes marching in (Owais Owais)
When Owais Shah comes marching in he'll score a ton and England win
Owais Shah is England's number three

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah na na na naaa na na na na na na na.... etc
Owais Shah is England's number three

He's been away on Tours for time (Owais Owais)
But never had a chance to shine (Owais Owais)
And now he'll score off pace and spin - he'll score a ton and England win
Owais Shah is England's number three

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah na na na naaa na na na na na na na.... etc
Owais Shah is England's number three

And now he's in where is the frown (Owais Owais)
He's gone and turned it upside down (Owais Owais)
Its been replaced by a big grin - he'll score a ton and England win
Owais Shah is England's number three

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah na na na naaa na na na na na na na.... etc

 

Paul Collingwood

Who will take his wicket
Spinners he will pick it
Never take his wicket
When Collingwood comes in!

Drink with the army
Sing with the army
Drink with the army
When Collingwood comes in

Drink with the army
Sing with the army
Drink with the army
Sing with the army
Drink with the a r m y
When Collingwood comes in

 

Paul Collingwood

(To the tune of Hey Jude)

Hey Paul
Don't let me down
You're a Mackem
But that don't matter
The moment you step up to the crease,
Our troubles will cease
You'll make things better better better better better....
Nah Nah Nah nahnahnahnah , COOOOOL LINGWOOD !!!

Nah Nah Nah nahnahnahnah , COOOOOL LINGWOOD !

 

Ryan Sidebottom

(To the tune of Robin Hood)

Sidebottom, Sidebottom
Swings it through the air
Sidebottom, Sidebottom
With his curly hair

He bats at eight or nine
His hat-trick was sublime
Sidebottom, Sidebottom
Sidebottom

 

Steve Harmison

My name is Super Steve Harmy
They all think I'm barmy
I bowl right arm fast for England
England!
When I walk down the street
All the People I meet
They say Hey! Big man!
What's your name?
My name is Super Steve Harmy
Repeat

 

Stuart Broad

He's big, he's bad
He's better than his Dad
Stuart Broad Stuart Broad

 

Tim Ambrose

(To the tune of You Are My Sunshine)

We've got Tim Ambrose
Sounds like Ambrosia
They make good custard
Comes in a tin
They make Creamed Rice too
That's not important
Just as long as England win